How to Unlearn Fear
Podcast Title: How to Unlearn Fear
Podcast Series: The Maven’s Keys to Financial Contentment
The Maven’s Keys to Financial Contentment is my idea that true financial contentment can be found when an overlap of money and beliefs occur. Many people ask the question of how to be “financially content” and this is a discussion to uncover those answers.
(CHECK OUT OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL FOR THE VIDEO VERSION)
Today, we will be dealing with the subject of FEAR. How does one unlearn fear? What happens in between the stages of GOAL FORMATION
and GOAL ACHIEVEMENT
? I’d argue that most people deal with different levels of “FEAR of the unknown” that may cause us to settle for not going after our dream. If you don’t unlearn your fear it can grip you and cause you not to fulfill your dream
. The asked questions of:
What if I fail?
What if I make a mistake?
What if I’m not accepted?
What if my dream can’t happen?
Here’s a concept I’ve developed for myself to help me “unlearn my fear”. I use it to combat the notion of associating fear with a valid constraint. These are two different things and so I will explain. For example, if you want to open a services business after years of gaining experience and skills you’ve gathered during your career, some valid constraints would be:
- Generating enough revenue in the business by attracting customers to support your lifestyle.
- Competing with other services businesses that offer a similar service/product as you and finding customers
These valid constraints, if unchecked can lead to the following fear(s):
I won’t have enough financial resources to sustain my lifestyle because I won’t attract enough customers because the competition is too great. Thereby causing the following fear: [fill in the blank].
Here is the immediate “comeback” to use during this subconscious conversation in your mind:
If I saved enough before leaving my current job, I could build a cushion to support my lifestyle OR I could start my business part-time. Although I’ll have to work/sacrifice more right now, I’ll have a better chance of achieving my goal and avoiding [fill in the blank].
There can be many other constraints that are valid like time away from relationships, regulatory and legal obligations, etc. But the way our minds work against us to accomplish our goals and dreams is to insert [SOME FEAR] to which we have to have a COMEBACK.
Identify the valid constraint(s) and make sure you distinguish those from the fear(s) you have and then develop your comeback. This can be done with anything including your personal finances. If you fear you will run out of money before you die, or that you won’t be able to get out of debt, find your “comeback” to deal with the fear. Can you overcome that fear by changing your habits? What changes can you make? Can you hire someone to work with you to help you?
I recently read that the only natural fears we have are the fear of falling or the fear of loud noises. All other fears are learned which mean that they can be unlearned.
Dominique Henderson, CFP® is founder of DJH Capital Management, LLC., a fee-only, registered investment advisory firm specializing in comprehensive financial planning and wealth management.
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